What is self-love? What does that look like to you?
Self love is putting yourself first. Self love is consistently improving your mental, emotional, and physical state. Self love is working to improve who you are as a person overall. It’s taking care of yourself before you take care of anyone else. It is also filling yourself up so you can pour into others. You can’t pour from a half empty cup because then you would be giving parts of your sanity away to somebody else and let’s be honest you need it. I think most of the time we’re so busy with work, school and family life that we forget we need that nourishment as well. I discussed in my previous blog “Finding a Balance” that you should treat yourself every time you get paid. Why work 40 hours a week and not reward yourself, you deserve it. My rewards to myself right now are apartment shopping and traveling. I need to find my next vacarion lol. Show yourself some compassion and kindness when you are going through certain life things. It is really okay to not be okay, there’s beauty in that moment. Show yourself the same love and kindness you would show a friend or loved one if you were comforting them. I had to learn how to let myself feel pain and also let myself go through it and not push it to the back burner. Many times when we go through things in life we think the best way to deal with it is to not deal with it at all. Through my own experience its better to allow yourself to feel how you feel and to understand that it is okay to feel how you feel. It’s okay to cry and be upset for a while because that’s you expressing your pain, and how you handle it is up to you. Allow yourself to make mistakes, we try to be perfect and live a perfect life too often. Make your own mistakes and learn from them in your own way. Sit down with yourself and SHOW UP for yourself. Stop taking care of everybody else before you take care of you. You are your longest commitment and you owe it to yourself to show up. Try to put it into perspective like this; imagine someone close to you going through what you are experiencing. How would you help them? What words of encouragement would you use? How often would you check up on them? Every answer that you have to those questions should be what you are doing to take care of youself and then some. Don’t go over board to help someone else and then do the bare minimum for youself. It’s just not fair! To love yourself is to fully accept who you are! How do you treat those that you love? How far would you go to see them happy? Think back to a time you really out did it for you! Quality time with yourself is a must. Some people hate the thought of being alone, but in those moments you should allow yourself to let your mind wander. Let your thoughts run and recognize what kind of signal your brain sends off when you think those thoughts. Do you feel happy or sad? Did your heart beat faster or slower? Did your breathing speed up or slow down? These are all clear signs our brains send to our body to let us know where we need the most work. This could include your love life, your career, or family. Realize what is working and what’s not and if something isn’t working reevaluate yourself. You can change as many times as you please! Start cleaning up hurt and disappointments from the past. Holding onto hurt and pain will not do anything positive for you. It’s not really the hurt that we hold onto its more of the memory of what happened that hurts or what we regret not doing in that moment. I know I tend to hold onto things and people a lot longer than I should. I’d say maybe a year ago I started learning how to accept things and people for who and what they were. It’s beneficial for you to let go of the things and people who no longer serve a purpose in your life. Make room for new things to enter into your life. Accept and try new things you never know what you would like. Most importantly STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS! People show you what they want you to see. Don’t compare where you are in your journey to someone else success story. You don’t know what and how long it took for that person to get to where they are. Work hard to get what you want!
Start building up your letting go muscle! Learn how to let go of people and things that did not turn out the way you wanted. Understand that everything happened exactly the way it needed to. Learn how to move on when things and people just don’t align with you. You have to recognize your own energy, pay attention to how you feel when you are dealing with certain things and people.
Take everything I said and apply it to your everyday life. PUT YOURSELF FIRST.